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When selfless hearts meet
In honest sincerity,
A very different sort
Of fireworks greet
The soul:

Not the bitter ash of games
Or the burning flame of unrequited,
No heavy coal of selfish claims--
Instead soft heat melts fear's chains
And makes its bearer whole.
I know it's overused,
But I mean something more
When I say I've never
Quite felt this way before.

There are many things
I've felt and many
Ways I've fallen,
Yet this simple
Unassuming feeling
Makes fire seem
Flat and drawn.

You are a first,
A slow burst
Of sunlight.

We've both come through
Long nights,
Found the other in a storm,
Warmed each other in the cold.

Now I don't know what future holds,
While here I call you friend instead
Of dear; still, we face our fears
In concert.

So, for the record,
You are the first man
To ever truly get to know me
And put the heart you clearly see
Before even your own hopes
And needs.

See, I used to believe
I'd always be running
After crumbs of care unceasingly,
Thought I wasn't worthy--
At best an afterthought, a convenience.
But this generosity of spirit
Teaches me that life can be lived
...differently.

No one's ever cared for me
Like this before.
First
haven't really found my voice on this topic. I'm used to writing pining love poems for people mostly absent, not lines of gratitude for real friends. But I want to spend more time focusing on the people who have made and do make the effort to be in my life, who do give, who do know me...give back to them as appropriate, recognize their hearts. So much of how I've held myself back in life is spending my time thinking about people half-available, half-interested in meeting my heart--in friends and in romance. My rationale was that if you love only those that love yourself...but you know what, there is a certain kind of mercy we give to those who do not love us back, and there is another world of love and wholeness that can only be shared with those of like mind and heart. We need to be merciful to those who do not love us back, but we don't need to waste our hearts on those who don't love us--there is no point in giving away your heart when it's only an object to someone else. Hearts are faces that meet and speak to one another. A heart thrives in virtuous conversation, strangles slowly if it tries to turn a monologue into a stand-in for a dialogue--something that can happen in various ways. I realize now I've been settling for a state of being that wasn't love, telling myself that it was by likening it to giving and sacrifice. Love is giving and sacrifice, but it's more than that.

I can't write the poem I wish I could. But at least the sentiment is there.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=bFRwcH… (Warm)
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Today I had the privilege of singing a few Russian songs with good company. My favorite of the bunch was 'The Slender Rowan Tree.' It's a very sad song about a little Rowan tree who feels very alone in the world, but looks across the river and sees a great oak, also alone like her. She sings of her love for the oak, but laments that she will never be able to join him. 

It's better as a choral piece in many ways, but I sang it once through for memory's sake, and because I love the song. It's close to my heart, reminds me of aspects or times of my life, but also is my heart's empathy for anyone with a big heart who feels like an orphaned soul doomed to sway forever alone in the cold winter wind.

WAV

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Words in Translation: 

"Why do you rustle as you sway,
Slender rowan,
With your head bent
To the wooden fence?"

And across the road,
Beyond a wide river,
There stands a solitary
Tall oak.

"If only I, a rowan,
Could move closer to the oak.
Then I would stop
Bending and swaying.

With my thin branches
I would press against him,
And with his leaves
I would whisper day and night.

But there's no way a rowan
Can move closer to an oak!
And like an orphan,
I will sway alone for all eternity."
 
translation  (with Russian parallel) from: lyricstranslate.com/en/%D1%82%…
breeze, fresh water, fountain in a courtyard
sunlight and green leaves
stone, airplane motors and birdsong


                    where do I belong?
So I found some poetry I wrote a few years ago that I didn't post here (unless indexed under a different title, quite possibly as they seem to date to 2013), but have uploaded here in spoken form. These are much thicker than I am writing nowadays. In some ways, I am a bit disappointed on DA's effect on my overall poetic self over the last couple years, but then maybe we go through ups and downs as poets anyway. But hey, cheers for the company on DA at least!

WMA

Download (1.2 MB)


Do you know the name of this land (a more spiritual piece) 

WMA

Download (728 KB)




The Worthiest of Lots (And a very sassy reading of a more romantic piece)
Today I had the privilege of singing a few Russian songs with good company. My favorite of the bunch was 'The Slender Rowan Tree.' It's a very sad song about a little Rowan tree who feels very alone in the world, but looks across the river and sees a great oak, also alone like her. She sings of her love for the oak, but laments that she will never be able to join him. 

It's better as a choral piece in many ways, but I sang it once through for memory's sake, and because I love the song. It's close to my heart, reminds me of aspects or times of my life, but also is my heart's empathy for anyone with a big heart who feels like an orphaned soul doomed to sway forever alone in the cold winter wind.

WAV

No Preview


Words in Translation: 

"Why do you rustle as you sway,
Slender rowan,
With your head bent
To the wooden fence?"

And across the road,
Beyond a wide river,
There stands a solitary
Tall oak.

"If only I, a rowan,
Could move closer to the oak.
Then I would stop
Bending and swaying.

With my thin branches
I would press against him,
And with his leaves
I would whisper day and night.

But there's no way a rowan
Can move closer to an oak!
And like an orphan,
I will sway alone for all eternity."
 
translation  (with Russian parallel) from: lyricstranslate.com/en/%D1%82%…

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squibblyquill
United States
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Stolen from another single lady friend: “I am a lover without a lover. I am lovely and lonely and I belong deeply to myself.” -Warsan Shire

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:iconphototubby:
Phototubby Featured By Owner 3 days ago  Hobbyist Photographer
Thank you for the fave!
Sad way. by Phototubby
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BlueLionEyes Featured By Owner Apr 20, 2016  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you for the fave! :hug: I really appreciate it~ :heart:
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Phenix59 Featured By Owner Apr 19, 2016
Thank you so much for the :+fav:'s!  :happybounce:
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Corvus-monedula93 Featured By Owner Apr 13, 2016  Hobbyist General Artist
Thanks for the favs :)
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Thelunarwriter Featured By Owner Apr 11, 2016  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you so much for the favorite 
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Phenix59 Featured By Owner Apr 7, 2016
Thank you very much for the :+fav: :hug:
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arklein20 Featured By Owner Apr 5, 2016  Hobbyist
Thanks for adding my painting to your favourites :)
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wolfcraz-11 Featured By Owner Apr 2, 2016  Hobbyist Writer
*Free Icon/Emote* Thank You Pusheen 
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ckp Featured By Owner Apr 1, 2016
thanks for the fav - ...desert

delighted
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HisDarkQueen Featured By Owner Mar 31, 2016  Hobbyist Writer
thank you for the fave!!!  :love:
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